Mamma Mia, I said NO!

No. NO. No.NO!!!!!! NO! 
Why is this word so hard for many of us to say? I know I personally have a problem with it. It's a problem that sinks down into my core, my heart, my soul. Even down to the depths of my bones. When I don't say this word, I wind up putting myself into some sticky situations, trying to balance the very last seconds of my day in front of me while attempting to pull a huge wagon of unnecessary baggage behind me. All the while, wearing my "happy face," making sure all those standing by to watch are enjoying the tightrope show as I tiptoe past.

I started reading a book today that I have avoided for months now. My best friend has mentioned it more than a few times, knowing good and well after reading it herself that I could benefit from the wisdom just waiting to dance off the pages and into my head. I walked past one of the counselors at the church, and the book nearly leapt off the table in my direction. Another time I was purchasing books for our parenting library at church and I saw it there, screaming my name, but bought the one for children instead, squelching that inner voice just a little longer. 

Yesterday was different. Oh, yesterday. God had already started preparing me last week (a long, dreadful, tiring, stressful week that followed a few other long, dreadful, tiring, stressful weeks) for the purchase I had so persistently ran away from. 


Walking into Half Price Books with my family, I found my way over to the religious section where I couldn't wait to see which book was going to jump out at me. My eyes were directed to the very top where Steve Arterburn's Battle books sat. Something intrigued me about Every Man's Marriage: A Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman. There's something about a book, written by man, who thinks he knows how to win the heart of a woman that screams, "READ ME!," but after further investigation, that book was right back where it started. (No offense Mr. Arterburn!) What I didn't know is that God was only using that book to get my attention. Directly below it, sat a whole row of THE book. The one I'd been avoiding for so long. The book that everyone else thought I should read. The book that would change the problem I apparently had. The book called Boundaries. 


Now, most of you know that I do NOT have a problem with boundaries OR saying NO. 
I know, I know. I do have a problem. In fact, I don't know how to say no to anyone but my poor kids, my sweet husband or this stupid book. This is definitely a problem. A problem that my best friend, the innocent counselor, and my heavenly Father have been trying to help me with for some time now. I finally had to say YES. Not only did I purchase the book, but I bought the workbook to go with it. All or nothing with me apparently! 


All I can say is that I'm so glad I finally said yes. Within the first few lines, I had changed the name of the character to Kara b/c it felt so real. I'm lucky enough to not have the same marital issues that this girl has, but my word, it's as if God wrote this book with me in mind. 


I'm obviously not signed, sealed, delivered and healed from my boundary issues, but a light has already clicked on inside of my head and I'm understanding things I didn't know existed before. I've somehow twisted God's words from the Bible into the people-pleasing, guilt-ridden, charade of a life that I've been living while missing some really important parts of His lessons for me. I've been so busy making sure that everyone else is taken care of, that I've forgotten to take care of His holy temple, and even worse, have placed honoring others before honoring God...the very person I thought I was saying yes to from the beginning. 


I do not think that helping others is not on God's agenda for my life, but as a wise friend recently posted, our priorities must be in order. If our life does not reflect the order of what we think our priorities are in, then those things are not a priority in our life. God first, my husband second, my children third, and all else comes in dead last. 


So, if you get a no or a NO or a NO! from me in the near future, do not be offended. Just know that in saying NO to you, I'm saying YES to God and what is right. 


I cannot be everything, to everyone in need.
Saying yes, of course, why not, sure pal, I've got the time, indeed. 
But God says love your neighbor, turn that cheek seven more times, 
Take care of those in need, never commit a crime.
I try so hard to listen to what God has to say
But often times I hear others before I kneel to pray
Consuming energy and time, I stretch myself so thin
Completing all the tasks, trying so hard not to sin
I want to please my father, but I count on others praise
Instead of raising hands to Him, it's hands for them I raise.
How quickly can our honor be conformed to pleasing man
When all along I wanted to live out my Savior's plan
I choose to be what my God wants, loving, forgiving, kind
Allowing Him to show me, what He wants me to find
Since there is only one of me, I choose now on this day
To search and know my God, nothing else is in my way
Placing those around me, second to His name
My heart says YES to Jesus, my devotion I proclaim

Take time to stop and smell the roses!

To relax, to take time out of one's busy schedule, to enjoy or appreciate the beauty of life. This is the definition that can be found in Wiktionary1 on this ever-so-popular phrase that most of you have heard and/or repeated more than once in your life. I love this phrase. It's quite a beautiful picture, as I envision myself frolicking through a field of green, carefree and joyful, full of life and void of life's stresses and responsibilities. 

You see, when I envision myself stopping to smell the roses, I do see myself appreciating the beauty of life, but there's only one problem I see with this vision. It's all about ME! 
I would say that I am a go-getter, a "never say no" girl that wants to please everyone around me by doing.  I've been taught by the world that to maintain this level of good works insanity, I must take time to stop and smell the roses so I can rejuvenate myself to keep going. It is a vicious cycle that appears to be getting me no where but worse off. 

After recently taking a trip to Thailand with my family, my eyes were opened to a brand new understanding of this phrase, one that drop kicks the me right out of the serene picture I once painted in my mind. 

What if we look at this phrase as Jesus would have? It may still share some similarities to the above mentioned definition: taking time out of one's busy schedule, enjoy or appreciate the beauty of life, however, I see no me in this selfless picture. Let's look at what God's view might be on this subject. 


Acts 20:35
"In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Ephesians 6:5-7
Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eye service, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men,
 
1 Peter 4:10-11
As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, let him speak, as it were, the utterances of God; whoever serves, let him do so as by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 


Matthew 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. "Nor do men light a lamp, and put it under the peck-measure, but on the lampstand; and it gives light to all who are in the house. "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Philippians 2:1-4
If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
 

Taking time to stop and smell the roses is really all about people. Some of you may be thinking that serving is still doing and therefore not really stopping, but I've found that we have gotten so busy doing and moving and bustling around looking busy, that we have completely forgotten about serving God through relationship and community.  

I recently had a conversation with someone about the simple question, "How are you doing?" We ask this question in passing ALL the time, but no matter how things are really going in our life, what is the typical answer? "I'm fi n e..," our voice fading as we quickly keep walking away from the person we were passing. I was under the impression that when someone asked me this question, they really wanted to know the answer. Why would you ask that if you had no intentions of hearing how I really am doing? 

I'm guilty though. Guilty of being or making myself look so busy that I can't stop and enjoy the relationship of the people around me, maintaining love, uniting in spirit, being a light. I've read Matthew 5:14-16 a million times, but I think I always got stuck on "that they may see your good works." I have been so worried about people seeing my good works, that I've completely abandoned the most important lesson that Jesus wanted us to see. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! It's about God. It's about enjoying and appreciating HIS CREATION, His marvelous beauty, His people that He intricately designed and molded and formed and then giving Him the glory for it. 

As I mentioned earlier, our family just recently spent two weeks in Thailand and the entire time we were there, we were immersed in "stopping to smell the roses." We spent hours upon hours sitting in a room, sharing God's word and loving on His creations, appreciating the breathtaking beauty of the hearts of those who so desperately needed the relationship God had invited us in together. I just didn't realize that I too was in desperate need of that relationship as well. 

After being home for a week, I realize that maintaining this slower pace and stopping to smell the roses is a difficult task for the life that we have created for ourselves, but if we don't do something to change it, we are not only missing out on some true blessings that God has waiting right here for us, but we are also disobeying His commands of loving others. 

Less of me and more of you, loving others, serving true

Busy lives, full of strife, take away from giving life

Worried more for time for me, bound by chains the worldly see

Father change my heart today, stopping more along the way

Praying God's divine intervention as we all make bold sacrifices to stop and smell the roses His way.  May God's blessings surround you always!

Galatians 5:13-14
For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

 

 1) Wictionary- http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/stop_and_smell_the_roses

My Grammy

It's hard to imagine the day you will receive "the call" that one of your loved ones is very ill or has passed. There has been a lot of those calls lately, but I never quite imagined that I'd receive the one I got on Thursday.

After months of planning, prayers, and preparation, the day had arrived for our family to leave on our 2 week mission trip to Chiang Mai, Thailand with Let's Start Talking. We had just reached that point where we could finally breathe again after the crazy morning and we couldn't believe we were about to embark on this exciting journey. 10 minutes before boarding, Chad's phone rang and I knew by the look on his face that something was not good. My grandmother and grandfather had just been in a terrible car accident and although Grandpa was ok, Grammy was going to be life-flighted to another hospital. About that time, the announcement came over the speaker and it was time to board the plane. Really?? Why now? Why not give me a few more minutes to figure this out? Do I need to NOT get on that plane? Should I stay or should I go? But I didn't have time to think. I just went...crying the entire way.

It wasn't until we arrived in Dallas that Dad called me to tell me the horrible news. We were running from one end of the DFW airport to the other because our flight was late and although I knew we needed to keep running, I was suddenly paralyzed. How could this possibly be? God, why in heaven's name did this have to happen at all, but especially right now? Right when I can't go? I felt like I was choosing Thailand over my grandmother. I really didn't know what to do. God whispered a little reminder in my ear though that His plan is perfect and that every single hurdle Satan has thrown in our path has been to keep us from Thailand. How far he will go to get what he wants. I was also reminded that getting on that plane to continue my trip would be exactly what my Grammy would have wanted me to do.

Having loads of time to reflect on my grandmother made me grateful that God had granted me some special times with her these last few months. In October, my kids and I stayed with her on our way to Shreveport to see my cousin. (Another tragic event this year, however, I am now grateful that we made that trip.) We had so much fun while there. Grams made our beds so fluffy and comfortable and we stayed up laughing and talking about everything. She showed us all her pictures that she was so very proud of in her sewing room and listed off even more that she didn't have room for but remembered and loved. She treasured those pictures.

The next morning, she took us to breakfast at the Moosehead downtown, a place that Jackson claims as his favorite ever since. We enjoyed our time so much together and she told us all about everyone that walked through the door. That was Grammy...she knew everyone and everyone loved her because of her sweet heart and kind ways.

On our way back from seeing Courtney, we almost kept driving through, as I was anxious to return home, but thank God, He urged me to stay one more night. We had a tea party, Grammy made us breakfast and then she spoiled my kids and washed their hair in the kitchen sink. This was something special she did for me and my sister when we visited her many years ago and it was a precious moment watching her share that with them. Of course, she pretended to be Stacy from "What Not to Wear" which was an addition to our past washes. I got to play the role of Clinton, which she laughed and laughed about. She had the most adorable, contagious laugh and I miss it already. I also regret not going to see her more. I hate that I didn't, but I will treasure that special time that my kids had with her forever. I know that they will too!

On Grammy's birthday in October, my aunt planned a surprise lunch for her and had all of us meet to celebrate her birthday. Getting all of us together is not an easy task, but it happened this time.

It is as if God was blessing us with these special times before it was her time. Thank you God!!

Here are a few of my favorite memories of Grammy:

Car rides listening to gospel music on our way to/from her house

Making things with her in her kitchen

Going for walks

Visiting her in Colorado

Receiving birthday cards from her (They were always specially picked out and underlined in special parts!)

Dressing up in her pj's and singing "Second Hand Rose"

Getting my hair washed

Taking trips to the farm

Shopping trips

Staying at her beautiful house

Laughing with her and her sisters

And much more.

Grams, I still can't believe that you are gone. My heart hurts and I'm almost convinced that I couldn't have made it through telling you goodbye. I hate to think about what happened to you, because I can't stand the thought that you were in pain. I'm so glad that you aren't anymore.

You made all of our lives so happy and there will be an empty place forever now that you are gone.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Fundraising Challenge for Thailand

A little over 12 hours ago we set a goal (challenge) to raise $750 before the end of the weekend (in 3 days or roughly 72hours). I had a feeling we would meet that goal, but I had NO IDEA it would be today!!!!! 4 people made that possible today and I want to thank you so much!!! We now have about $750 to go to be DONE! There's a few checks that haven't made it to LST to reflect on the website YET, but they are coming and I am amazed that we are almost there! Wouldn't it be cool if we hit $10,800 this weekend? I know it's possible, b/c of people like YOU!!! Thailand better get ready for the Dennis Family! We love you all so very much! www.lst.org/2011projects/thedennisfamily

New Perspective Thanks to Maggie

http://mabeecolwell.weebly.com/blog.html

Suddenly, it's easier to put things into perspective. My tired and achy body, overwhelming schedule, broken(new) phone, saddened heart, or even my sweet husband recovering from a difficult surgery just don't seem as hard to face as they did. Not that my problems aren't really there, nor are they less important to my God who is not too big for any of them, but at this moment, I thank God for the problems I do have.

My heart aches for this sweet family that has trusted God through an unimaginably difficult time and I honestly can't say that I would have the same faith that Stephen and Joy have shown over and over again. God, I know you tell us that you will never give us more than we can handle, but quite frankly, this is more than anyone can handle without YOU! We pray for Your will to be done, but I also plead with You that if Your will is actually in fact what this family has to face in the coming days, that You will wrap Your comforting hands around their hearts that are going to feel as if they have just been ripped right out of their bodies and that You give them a peace that will make no sense to those who do not know the love that You so graciously bestow upon Your children.

I also plead with all of you to go grab hold of your precious gifts- each and every one of the blessings that God has graciously given to you and thank God that you are able to hold them in your arms. Their presence; whether 30 years, 15 months, or even 3 short, yet remarkable weeks is a SACRED gift and we owe God our everything for allowing these precious gifts to enter our lives, even if for a shorter time than we had hoped for.

Father, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. May the Lord bless you and keep you sweet Maggie Mabee! You've changed more lives than you will ever know and I am so thankful that your sweet parents trusted God enough to allow Him to bless our lives with your presence.

J's Graduation from Kinder

Is it really possible? Does time really fly that fast? I just wish some days that I could stop time and keep my babies young! J graduated from kindergarten last week and I couldn't be more proud of him. Here is a recap of the morning:

The awesome decorations on stage

Pomp & Circumstance Entrance
"I Love You" Song Getting his diplomaMoving his tassle over

J with his FABULOUS teacher Class of 2022...I don't like the sound of that! Family time YAY! All done!

Trying to catch up....

You might need to reserve a little time to catch up on the following blogs. There are quite a few posts and quite a few pictures so get ready, get set, GO.....